Apr. 27th, 2017

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On June 13, 2003, I wrote:

I told my mom that Karine and I were together and that I was pretty certain that she was the One. It's the first time since Cindy that my mom knows anything about my love-life. So I'm very happy that I managed to bring it up. She was totally supportive and said she just wanted me to be happy and find my other half.

It's funny reading over things like that. I remember that conversation with my mom vividly. I'd been trying to build up the courage to bring it up, knowing it had been years since we'd really discussed my sexuality. Remembering that all conversations prior to that had left me feeling disappointed at best, angry at worst. I made a point to talk around it after that. But this was different. This thing with K was different, and I needed her to know about it.

I still remember that for at least a year after that conversation in PR (in which she truly was supportive, regardless of her feelings), she still referred to Karine as "that girl" or "the french girl" in our conversations. Not rudely. She wasn't trying to hurt me. Still, I remember that the first time she called Karine by her name, I cried. It's the little things that signal change; that tell you things will be okay.

K and I get to spend the week leading up to our 14 year anniversary an ocean apart, and I suppose that's kind of fitting in a way. Her in the US. Me in France. We still very much hate being apart.

I went back to May 1, 2003 to see what I'd written in my LJ, but I wrote nothing that day. Our real anniversary -- the day we really, truly, officially "got together" was June 1. But on May 1, K told me she was in love with me, and even if she refused to label us ("long distance relationships aren't real" etc), I knew we were inevitable.

Fourteen years. And I'm still a sappy mess.

My mom arrives in a little over two weeks from now, and I'm looking forward to a visit free of wedding stress, and lack of proper furniture. I'm looking forward to having her around for three weeks, though it never feels like enough time.

Distance. My eternal nemesis.

I watched the first three episodes of The Handmaid's Tale and it creeped me the hell out. It feels a little too real for comfort these days. But as unsettled as I am by it, I'm still really enjoying it. Can't wait for more episodes.

Caught up on Billions, and I'm so into it. It's been a great second season so far, and the addition of Taylor Mason's character has been my favorite part. Their relationship with Bobby is awesome, and I dig it so much. Also Taylor/Wendy scenes are my crack. All my favorite brilliant minds together. <3

I meant to write more in here, but I just realized I'm starving. So, off to eat.

About Me

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April 2017

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